The Hub

Sun Apr 26 in the very early hours of the morn my husband was in a car accident. He broke his hand. this is a mobile picture of the xray they took of his hand.

My husband and his cousin was driving home from a concert and his cousin went to pass another car on the highway and they hydroplaned which caused him to lose control and hit head on to the wall of the highway which shot them across the highway to other side and slammed the back of the car in the other wall. my hub had his seat belt on and only got a broken hand, some stiches in his eye and shin and a few brusies. his cousin got some craxked ribs and soft tissure damage. My Hub has to have surgery friday to fix his hand so please keep him in your thoughts. i am sure he will be fine but surgery is surgery and it is scary!

Spring has Srung

I am in such a FUNK, i really don't know what is wrong with me! i am not sure if it is homesickness again or the semester winding down or what but i just can not keep a smile on my face. the whole homesickness thing might be it because in 2 weeks we will have been living in Manhattan officially for a year. it is crazy how fast this year passed! and i feel like i have nothing to show for it. all i did was change my major and i all the planning i had done in the past and everything i had done was geared toward this future that no longer exists and i have to start over. at least i am starting over with something i love. and something that when i get to do it, makes me happy. when i get to do it. which is hardly ever it feels like.

The above was taken at f/16 with a shutter of 500 i think in monochrome format with my canon digital XTI.

"Lights on Mead"

I am simply numb. It is hard to explain. But I feel void, not complete. Like there is something missing but I never had it to begin with. Everything I do has been empty and there is always something right there within my reach, yet I never can reach it. Last week I rode with my family to KC so my little bro could buy a car and on our way I feel asleep in the back and had a dream that I am still trying to figure out. I spoke to someone about it and she thinks she knows who it is, but it didn’t feel like that person. It felt like someone else and I am still trying to figure it out. I think I might know but I have NO idea why they would come see me. Anyway me and this person was swimming but I have no idea if it was in a pool or lake or the ocean but our feet where dangling in the water while this person asked me if I was happy, Did I feel complete? Cherish everything you have for you don’t know how long you will have it, and other comments along those lines. And it freaked me out a little bit. I just wish I could figure out what I want and just get it. Maybe then I will feel complete.
The above was taken in Wichita, at f/4 with a 30 second exposure. I printed it on glossy paper so it would be more contrasted.

"Very good Grasshopper"

So i has a wonderful time in Wichita over the weekend, from Thursday on. as i mentioned before. Sunday i spent the day with my grandmother and it was awesome. just a calm quite day. i wasn't rushed and it felt nice. i enjoyed it very much. i am thinking about spending a whole week at home once the semester is over. that way i can see everyone and maybe even go out and party with some "friends"
My female pug tootsie somehow cut her foot sat while playing in my moms back yard so i have it wrapped with gauze and tape and put a sock over it so she don't chew it and she is milking the attention for all it is worth, it is funny because one minute she will be fine and the next she will be limping. she is fine just a deep cut, just deep enough to bother her but not deep enough for it to gush blood all the time.
I finally got my windshield fixed! after a year and half, it is done and it makes me happy :) now i can get my crazy B*tch sticker for it. that will make me happy.

The above is done with a Macro filter on the automatic setting so that i wouldn't loose the shot with my digital camera.

"Fairy Glow"

I have been spending a few days with my mom, well I have been trying. wed night I got to town and my brothers and I went to the Disturbed concert that was here in Kansas. It freaking rocked! and I have spend Thur and Friday just hanging out with my mom and plan on spending the weekend with my grandmother. Well yesterday (Thurs) I finally got my windshield fixed and it looks beautiful. then one thing or another kept coming up and i had to keep leaving and didn't get to spend the day with mom. friends needed help and i do not know how to say no. i have become this person that people can run over and i am sick of it. when i need a friend no one is around but when my 'friends' need my help i am at their beck and call and that needs to stop. now i understand that there are some genuine times that a friend needs help and i am all for helping them if it is for real and very serious, but i would much appreciate that they would be there for me when i need it and no one ever is. anyway today (Fri) i got to spend all day with my mom and it has been a blast. we went and got lost in down town Wichita and went to borders and goofed off. it was awesome, i need to come home and do it more often but i just don't have the time and i want to see everyone when i come home. i feel like i am being pulled in a million directions.

The above picture was taken with my digital Canon DSLR XTi using a three second exposure and a f/4 apature using only candle light, i didnt it to test the idea before i used my film camera to take it and i will upload that one at a later date so you can see the differance.