Long Time!

All Pictures were taken with my new phone. It has a 5 mega pixel camera on it.

What a crazy 3 months it has been! I returned to school at KSU after a long emotional battle trying to decide if I should stay in Wichita and quit, or keep on trucking and finish my degree. After this long battle I figured out that I want to finish school but I was trying to convince myself that I wanted to return to Wichita before I was ready. When I am here I want to finish but when I am home I want to be home. Well my husband and I had a long deep talk over the weekend while he was visiting me and we, as a couple, decided that it was best that I finish so that I can get a great job and support my husband so he can go to school or so that we can start a family. If I stick to a fast track for school and take classes in the intersession I can finish in half the time it would take, because I have all random humanities and social sciences covered. Where if I were to quit now it would take too long in the future to finish. I know this sounds selfish and self centered but in the end it is what is best for my family and our future family that we plan to have. I hope my loved ones will understand this decision and understand that this is final and there is no more flip flopping. Once I have a BFA in photography we still plan to move back to Sedgwick or Butler County to be closer to our families.

Nature

some shots of my mothers plants, all shot at f/5.6 with 1/500

Removal Of the Pins

2.1 MegapixelCamera Phone
f/5.6, 1/500
f/5.6, 1/500
f/5.6, 1/500
f/5.6, 1/500

Josh got his pins out June 4th, this was the process. He did great and now his hand has almost full extention back in it and flexablity is 100%.

"Blinded by the Light"

Wow been awhile! Josh is doing great with his physical therepy and I have been having a blast taking some new shots of lights at night, i learned a new trick and have been minorly obsessed with it. the above was shot with my Canon XTi DSLR with a 7" shutter and a f/4. i really like how it turned out!

"Seven Sinful Lives"

OH how much of a mess my life has been this past month. My husband is unable to return to work until july 13th, but he gets the pins removed and starts PT on june 4th so that is good news. i returned at my old job and things have changed so much. it is very odd. there are days when it is normal and things run smoothly, but then there are days where there is very much a us vs. them thing going on and i just keep my nose in my book and ignor it all and just cut hair when the guys come in. after being back for a bit i realize how much i relaly enjoyed that job and all the people i got to interact with everyday and how much i missed it. and that was one long as run on sentence. lol. anyway i enjoy being back very much but i am not sure at what cost it will be at. some of the new people that are there are just not right, or feel like they need to control the situation or something. while josh is resting we are staying with my parents which has been another adventure all in its self. we feel so out of place and like we are stepping on their toes or something and i feel like we need to find another place to stay or maybe go home and i'll drive back and forth again for work. cuz there is no way i can make the income i get here anywhere else. i feel lost in a since and i hate it. we have had to depend on our parents more that neccessairy and it is killing me. i am irratable and bitchy and i hate it. i need to win the lotto that is just all there is too it. i hate that life is so controlled by money and status. in the midst of all this mess school ended for the semester and i am awaiting my final grades which scares the hell out of me becasue of what happened last semester. which is why i switched to an art major, or part of the reason.

the above is my final series project i did for photo 1 it is a set up of the seven deadly sins and each print relates to the one before nad after in way hat is hard to explain. i wish i had spent more time with it and made it better, worked with my backgrounds a little bit more and what not. they where all shot with a Canon K2 Rebel with Kodak T-max film and printed in the darkroom at various times and techniques.

The Hub

Sun Apr 26 in the very early hours of the morn my husband was in a car accident. He broke his hand. this is a mobile picture of the xray they took of his hand.

My husband and his cousin was driving home from a concert and his cousin went to pass another car on the highway and they hydroplaned which caused him to lose control and hit head on to the wall of the highway which shot them across the highway to other side and slammed the back of the car in the other wall. my hub had his seat belt on and only got a broken hand, some stiches in his eye and shin and a few brusies. his cousin got some craxked ribs and soft tissure damage. My Hub has to have surgery friday to fix his hand so please keep him in your thoughts. i am sure he will be fine but surgery is surgery and it is scary!

Spring has Srung

I am in such a FUNK, i really don't know what is wrong with me! i am not sure if it is homesickness again or the semester winding down or what but i just can not keep a smile on my face. the whole homesickness thing might be it because in 2 weeks we will have been living in Manhattan officially for a year. it is crazy how fast this year passed! and i feel like i have nothing to show for it. all i did was change my major and i all the planning i had done in the past and everything i had done was geared toward this future that no longer exists and i have to start over. at least i am starting over with something i love. and something that when i get to do it, makes me happy. when i get to do it. which is hardly ever it feels like.

The above was taken at f/16 with a shutter of 500 i think in monochrome format with my canon digital XTI.

"Lights on Mead"

I am simply numb. It is hard to explain. But I feel void, not complete. Like there is something missing but I never had it to begin with. Everything I do has been empty and there is always something right there within my reach, yet I never can reach it. Last week I rode with my family to KC so my little bro could buy a car and on our way I feel asleep in the back and had a dream that I am still trying to figure out. I spoke to someone about it and she thinks she knows who it is, but it didn’t feel like that person. It felt like someone else and I am still trying to figure it out. I think I might know but I have NO idea why they would come see me. Anyway me and this person was swimming but I have no idea if it was in a pool or lake or the ocean but our feet where dangling in the water while this person asked me if I was happy, Did I feel complete? Cherish everything you have for you don’t know how long you will have it, and other comments along those lines. And it freaked me out a little bit. I just wish I could figure out what I want and just get it. Maybe then I will feel complete.
The above was taken in Wichita, at f/4 with a 30 second exposure. I printed it on glossy paper so it would be more contrasted.

"Very good Grasshopper"

So i has a wonderful time in Wichita over the weekend, from Thursday on. as i mentioned before. Sunday i spent the day with my grandmother and it was awesome. just a calm quite day. i wasn't rushed and it felt nice. i enjoyed it very much. i am thinking about spending a whole week at home once the semester is over. that way i can see everyone and maybe even go out and party with some "friends"
My female pug tootsie somehow cut her foot sat while playing in my moms back yard so i have it wrapped with gauze and tape and put a sock over it so she don't chew it and she is milking the attention for all it is worth, it is funny because one minute she will be fine and the next she will be limping. she is fine just a deep cut, just deep enough to bother her but not deep enough for it to gush blood all the time.
I finally got my windshield fixed! after a year and half, it is done and it makes me happy :) now i can get my crazy B*tch sticker for it. that will make me happy.

The above is done with a Macro filter on the automatic setting so that i wouldn't loose the shot with my digital camera.

"Fairy Glow"

I have been spending a few days with my mom, well I have been trying. wed night I got to town and my brothers and I went to the Disturbed concert that was here in Kansas. It freaking rocked! and I have spend Thur and Friday just hanging out with my mom and plan on spending the weekend with my grandmother. Well yesterday (Thurs) I finally got my windshield fixed and it looks beautiful. then one thing or another kept coming up and i had to keep leaving and didn't get to spend the day with mom. friends needed help and i do not know how to say no. i have become this person that people can run over and i am sick of it. when i need a friend no one is around but when my 'friends' need my help i am at their beck and call and that needs to stop. now i understand that there are some genuine times that a friend needs help and i am all for helping them if it is for real and very serious, but i would much appreciate that they would be there for me when i need it and no one ever is. anyway today (Fri) i got to spend all day with my mom and it has been a blast. we went and got lost in down town Wichita and went to borders and goofed off. it was awesome, i need to come home and do it more often but i just don't have the time and i want to see everyone when i come home. i feel like i am being pulled in a million directions.

The above picture was taken with my digital Canon DSLR XTi using a three second exposure and a f/4 apature using only candle light, i didnt it to test the idea before i used my film camera to take it and i will upload that one at a later date so you can see the differance.

Belvedere

This is my grand pup Belvedere. He is Tootsie's first born. We gave him to my husbands Aunt, and her husband decided to get rid of him at the end of January. they gave him to a family cousin and as soon as i heard about it it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. when we got home from Texas last weekend i got a text from said aunt, the cousin didn't want him anymore either so i took action right away and when and picked him up. he was skinny and the kids where not nice to him while we was there for like 5 minutes to get his stuff.

i knew from speaking to the aunt that he had an issue with potty training and going night night in his crate. well he was been nothing but gold for me. tells me when he wants to go out and we can even get him in is crate for bedtime. well we decided to get him fixed so he will be easier for his forever mother to take care of. i hope and believe that i have found his forever mother in an old college buddy. I know that she feels about animals the same way i do and if something should ever come up that is serious in her life that she can not take care of him anymore. but i know that she will be able to keep him forever. which is what he needs. he is such a good boy and so sweet.

the above pictures where taken with my cell phone which has a 2.0 mega pixel camera on it and i uploaded with e-mail and shared with you all :)

Spring Break

My Husband and I went to San Anotino for spring break. Not to party but to visit my brother in law who just graduated from basic for the United States AirForce. We went to the riverwalk on friday and seaworld on sat. the pic above was done with a digital camera at an automatic setting becasue i didnt want to miss the shot. so i cheated when i took it. this was at dolphin cove and it isnt on zoom :) we had fun most of the weekend aside from a few bumps in the road which i am glad we made over with out serious damage to anyone or anything. i am glad to be home with my kids and rodents. we have one of tootises babies with us cuz no one wants him. poor pup so i am going to train him and hopefully find him a good forever home.

"It's All Relative"

Saturday was awesome! Everyone showed up! All (or most) of the kids were in good moods! I wanted to get a head start on my photography series that is due at end of semester and also I will use for a scholarship thing in the fall. Everyone turned out! It was so warm feeling to know that some of my friends were able to support me in my photography endeavors. These lucky few will always bring a smile to my face now. Hard to explain but basically I used to be a veterinarian medicine major at KSU and ever since we moved up there it hasn’t felt right. This semester I took photo I as a fun class and found out that I can pursue a different passion: Photography, and not have to change schools. It was almost like I won the lotto. But in the past few months I have hinted that I have wanted to do this and it felt like everyone around me was disappointed in my decision to change majors. And it was really hard for me to step up and take what I wanted. But I did it and it felt good! Like I said before having some of my friends show up for this and knowing that they support me really means a lot to me. Anyway from top to bottom they are: Tiffany Page and her two kids, Anastasia and Carl who represented my “single mom”, Keith and Aaliyah Baldwin who was my “single dad”, Jessi, Jeremy and Gage Hatch who represented my “new partents” and Cassandra Boone. Cass’s picture is a little bit harder to explain and I really don’t want to give any of the final outlook away but know that it will be grand. They were all taken with a DSLR Canon Rebel XTi. Then I edited them in Photoshop 6.0 for color or minor fixes that needed done.

"Memories"

So I made it to Wichita! Whoo hoo my mom and I are goofing around with a photofunia.com. That is some fun shiznit right there. We put my ill bros face on the Mona Lisa...classic :) I am starting my portrait series tomorrow for my photo class I am super excited :) I will post more when I get closer to done with it.

"Memories" is taken in my grandmothers’ backyard. She and I used to swing in that swing on her front porch and she would tell me stories and rub my head, which some of my favorite memories of her. It was taken at a 1/500 shutter and f/5.6 with 20 second exposure time at f/16 if I remember right. This was taken in my very first photo class almost 3 years ago.

I probably won’t be on much for a week cuz we are going to Texas to see my lil bro in law graduate from boot camp. That is should be a lot fun :)

"Binded"

Ok so the title of this blog has the oppiste effect but i wanted to share my picture of the Chaliane Harris series i have. lol. Josh and I decided to sell our trailer in wichita finally and it is like the final final step and there is no going back. but now that i am positive on my major and what i want to do it feel right. and we feel a little bit liberated i think. i also choose the above photo cuz i looks like i am back to reading while i walk to my classes cuz my mp3 player isacting weird and wal mart is being a nazi aobut exchanging it so i have to either deal with it or contact the manufature and you know how long that takes. so we are trying to find the original reciept and the warrently packet they gave us, even thou he said that we will not need it if something goes wrong cuz it is in their system. whatevers. speaking of whatevers almost a year and half ago a friend's BF hit my windsheild in fit of anger and broke it and while we drove away he hit back of my car adn created a dent. well last night i got an e-mail from his askin for ou new info cuz he has to take a check to the da for the damages to my car. :) makes me very happy to know that my windsheild is going to finally get fixed.

"Binded" was also shot inside at a 1/6 shutter and f/4.0 apture. once in the darkroom i exposed it for 4 seconds at f/8 with a 2 filter.

"One Giant Step"

I am officially a Photography/Art Major with Pre-vet option! I went and saw my advisers today and got everything squared away. Funny thing is that when I am done with my pre-vet stuff and about 1/2 way through my art stuff I can get my life science degree if I want. Which prob won’t happen. Lol. I am just super excited! We also had critique in 3D design for our Akari lamps. That was fun I got good and helpful feedback on my lamp. I will post pictures after spring break when we can take them home. Speaking of home I get to go home on friday for 3 days before we take off for texas and my brother in law's boot camp graduation. I am selfishly hoping that we can go to Sea World while we are down there. Super excited :)

"One Giant Step" was taken on the Manhattan Hill with a 1/500 shutter and f/6.7 aperture. I took it for the perspective and lines in it. While in the dark room I had to use a 2 1/2 filter at an f/8 for about 6 seconds while I dodged the bottom step for a second so it wouldn't get to dark.

"You Spin Me Right Round"

So today was pretty uneventful. School and such. After school i came home and worked on my 3D Design class project which is an Akari lamp. Man that thing is a pain in the rear. lol. But it is almost done and i will attempt to post some pix of it soon. yesterday we went to the pet store and almost adopted another guenia pig but i didnt like them so we didnt and i went to the supply store and found come canvas paper that is specialy for ATC's. made me smile :) so i will be playing with that soon i am sure.

The above is a angle shot of my lil bros guitar, i shot it at 1/8 with a f/5.6, in the darkroom i had to use a #3 filter to help bring out the blacks and burned the neck in for an additional 3 seconds over the 10 second total exposure time.

"Two Turn Tables and Microphone"

So yesterday I decided that i wanted to listen to Boston. well I dont have any CD's of theirs but I have a LP so I cleaned off our record player to listen to it and it wouldnt work :( the Needle or Stylus got broke in our move to manhattan almost a year ago and I need to find a new one. oh the joy. so I took the above photo since I had all my LPs out, notice the relfection of the top albums on to the lower ones? I shot it with Illford HP5 400 ISO at f/4.0 apature and 1/4 shutter using a tripod. I played with the development a little bit but stuck with a 4 sec exposure at f/8 with a 2 filter to bring out the black on the records.

"Walk this Way"

I shoot my Black and White photography with Illford HP5 400 ISO film. This it at the Manhattan Train Station that is no longer in use and i used my Canon K2 Rebel at a 1/500 and f/5.6 developed on Illford pearl RC paper in an 8x10. I shot it for the line and angle of the walk way for my Photo I class at KSU.

Trying this out

I really have NO idea what i am doing, bear with me :)